Wednesday, July 25, 2012
Tuesday, June 5, 2012
Love dies, I agree, but does it die naturally? I think not.
That doesn’t happen naturally.
Thursday, May 17, 2012
(Source: Reagan: A Life In Letters;)
Manhattan Beach, California
Enclosed is the item I mentioned (with which goes a torn up IOU). I could stop here but I won't.
You've heard all the jokes that have been rousted around by all the "unhappy marrieds" and cynics. Now, in case no one has suggested it, there is another viewpoint. You have entered into the most meaningful relationship there is in all human life. It can be whatever you decide to make it.
Some men feel their masculinity can only be proven if they play out in their own life all the locker-room stories, smugly confident that what a wife doesn't know won't hurt her. The truth is, somehow, way down inside, without her ever finding lipstick on the collar or catching a man in the flimsy excuse of where he was till three A.M., a wife does know, and with that knowing, some of the magic of this relationship disappears. There are more men griping about marriage who kicked the whole thing away themselves than there can ever be wives deserving of blame. There is an old law of physics that you can only get out of a thing as much as you put in it. The man who puts into the marriage only half of what he owns will get that out. Sure, there will be moments when you will see someone or think back to an earlier time and you will be challenged to see if you can still make the grade, but let me tell you how really great is the challenge of proving your masculinity and charm with one woman for the rest of your life. Any man can find a twerp here and there who will go along with cheating, and it doesn't take all that much manhood. It does take quite a man to remain attractive and to be loved by a woman who has heard him snore, seen him unshaven, tended him while he was sick and washed his dirty underwear. Do that and keep her still feeling a warm glow and you will know some very beautiful music. If you truly love a girl, you shouldn't ever want her to feel, when she sees you greet a secretary or a girl you both know, that humiliation of wondering if she was someone who caused you to be late coming home, nor should you want any other woman to be able to meet your wife and know she was smiling behind her eyes as she looked at her, the woman you love, remembering this was the woman you rejected even momentarily for her favors.
Mike, you know better than many what an unhappy home is and what it can do to others. Now you have a chance to make it come out the way it should. There is no greater happiness for a man than approaching a door at the end of a day knowing someone on the other side of that door is waiting for the sound of his footsteps.
P.S. You'll never get in trouble if you say "I love you" at least once a day.
It is so good, so thoughtful, it makes me want to clap whenever i read it. Yes guys, a woman always knows, no matter the lie you tell, or how you cover your tracks, she always knows when you haven't been 100% hers and it diminishes your relationship and the love she has for you.
So whenever you experience the temptation or opportunity to 'step out', the decision you have to make is not only based on your morals and values but on whether you're willing to risk the strength of your relationship, for the rest of your lives, on just a few minutes of illicit pleasure.
Friday, January 27, 2012
Its 2012 and this year I will be older!!!!. I have come to those years of my life where I no longer look forward to my birthdays with eagerness, instead I nurse a silent trepidation, am I getting too old to be the person I always wanted to be?
I guess you get that way when you haven’t achieved a lot of your dreams. For me that could be the case. I haven’t written a book, travelled abroad, gotten a Master’s degree, gotten married or even…...oh well can’t tell everything. My life at this stage is very, very lacking in achievements.
But anyway, this year my birthday will come and I will enjoy it. I will enjoy most of the year because I have achieved the thing I always wanted the most, I have fallen in love….(smile, smile, blush, blush)
Ok. Close that chapter. This morning after mass, a lady offered me a ride to my office which was really out of her way. It’s really heartwarming to meet people who show you that there is still some kindness in this world. God bless that lady and if she ever gets to read this…. Well lady I think you’re exceptionally pretty.
On a not so heartwarming note, I was on a bike this afternoon and the idiot almost drove into the path of an oncoming car… and worse!… after it happened the guy kept claiming he was right! If I wasn’t so shaken I’d have slapped the living daylights out of him.
I just read on twitter that Babangida will not seek elective office anymore, that made me sad. I want him to contest every four years and lose each time, no punishment is enough for the man who legalized corruption in Nigeria. IBB if you don’t agree with me, tell me what good legacy you left for Nigeria.
And in the US, Obama keeps talking of fairness and taxing the rich at higher rates. Based on calculations done by… I forgot his name… Oh yes! David Indiviglio of The Atlantic. Even if the rich in America paid 100% of their income in taxes, it wouldn’t even come close to filling the budget deficit. So maybe Obama should find another line to incense the masses into voting for him, or maybe not, this line seems to work on 70% of ignorant Americans who think the rich are to blame for all their problems.
I find that I can no longer read Cosmopolitan Magazine in public, there is sex on every page! Guys in my office see the cover and give me a speculative look, like…. Hmmn……… Vogue, of course, remains the ultimate in magazines.
PS I will finish a writing a novel this year.
I will finish a writing a novel this year.
I will finish a writing a novel this year.
I will finish a writing a novel this year.
I will finish a writing a novel this year.
I will finish a writing a novel this year.
I will finish a writing a novel this year……………………………. I wonder if the more times I write it , the more chance there is of it coming true….
Sunday, December 11, 2011
I don't know the answer to my question. I dont want to be afraid of life though, I want to conquer it. I want to stare it in the face and say 'boo'.
I've been reading so much my eyes ache, been working so much my back aches. Its crazy. I wish everything were beautiful.
Love is not the end of unhappiness. You can be in love and still be unhappy.... Wisdom.
I'm currently reading 'The Way of the Shadows' by Brent Weeks. I find that I like fantasy novels. I like the magic and the strange events. I like the intricate patterns that weave together a world that truly does not exist. I like that I admire the writers.
I am afraid that George R R martin would die before finishing 'A song of ice and Fire'...... it gives me nightmares.
At the arrivals area of the international airport today, people pressed their faces against a glass barrier, eager to catch a glimpse of their relatives, their loved ones, their eagerness undiminished by the fact that no matter what the formalities at the airport would not hold thier loved ones for more that a few hours at worst, that no matter what they would still come out, they stood there hungry for that first glance like thirty men in the desert.
What else do we live for?
Thursday, February 3, 2011
This is not only touching but also truly inspiring.
Our differences do not mean that we cannot live together.
This is not the first time this is happening in Egypt, on January 7th several Muslims including two of the president's sons, stood to protect a Coptic Church during the Christmas Mass.
It seems there is a lot to learn from Egypt. PS it won't be the first time.
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Monday, January 17, 2011
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
- (1988?) KinderGarten. The first time I spelt my name. That might not seem like much but my name ‘Osomiame’ is actually quite long. Everyone, including my parents had always called me ‘Somi’. I used to write Somi in all my books. One day without even thinking about it I wrote my full name on a new book. Only realising what I had achieved afterwards. I was so excited I ran straight to my parents and basked in their congratulations.
- (2000) My private tutor in chemistry Mrs Elogie telling my mum that I was one of the best she had ever taught.
- (2000) S.S.C.E Chemistry. Ehinomen asked me what I’d written in a certain question and heaved a sigh of relief when she found out she’d written the same thing.. Ehinomen!!!!
- (2000) A1 in mathematics... Maths was always the easiest subject for me though.
- (2001) Getting my correct Jamb score. I had received a wrong failing score at first. I thought I had failed until they sent my real score.
- (2001) My SAT results... my percentiles had me very tickled.
- (2002) Some guy who later went mad from smoking too much weed told me I was the most intelligent, articulate and well read girl he’d met in a while. He was brilliant.
- (2007) Architectural history class. Prof Mrs. Ogunsote exclaiming after I’d answered a question “I knew she would get it right”
- (2009) Anthonia Imokhai’s Yearbook Page. Best Friend: Osomiame Evangeline Ekhasomhi.
- (2010) Tolu Akinyemi’s reply to my poem ‘and so it ends’. It was a beautiful moment.
- Hearing from my mum that my brother had gotten into the course and school he wanted. I was so happy I cried
- Finding a note on which I had written “I love you daddy you are my hero” a long time ago in my father’s desk drawer
- Visiting day SS2, It was already about 6pm and I thought no one was coming. My mum and sister came to see me.
- My Aunt Paulina’s wedding in 1996. I was happy and crying at the same time
- Hearing that I was an artist with words
- (2005) my first screenplay, Hearing I had a wonderful way with words
- My first make-up, A week after my first break-up.. I didn’t know I was crying until he told me.
- My first computer
- Discovering Yanni
- Hey there Delilah.
What do you think?
Many people are quick to yell kudos... I’d do the same if it were my daughter etc.
While I am convinced that any fifty seven year old man carrying on an affair with a teenage girl is predatory and deserves the worst, the truth is he didn’t force her. It was a relationship. She agreed to it because she found something she wanted.
Now I understand what the father did, when it comes to our children we sometimes let our emotions rule our heads. We are more likely to turn into animals in protecting our children than in anything else. But he didn’t have a right to castrate the other man, his issue was with his daughter and he should have tried to find out what had driven her to a man so much older than herself.
Many parents will always see their children as their babies, the thought of such an old man putting his paws on your baby is enough to sicken and enrage any loving parent. But before we start picking up breadknives we should always take a deep breath and think.
PS... If any dude tried that with my daughter... Well….....
Monday, December 13, 2010
Let’s look back to about two years ago, during my service year. I was handling a design for someone, a friend of a friend. This man, who happened to be a widower, sometimes showed a more than professional interest in me. But I wasn’t very disturbed because there was hardly any opportunity for him to spend time alone with me. So he would call, tell me about the job I would send feedback, that kind of thing.
Anyway one day I was supposed to send him some company profiles right? He said he wasn’t in town but would be the next day Saturday. It was going to be a busy day but he would be at a party at Sheraton Ikeja for about four hours, perhaps I could bring the documents to him? I said yes.
So that day, a Saturday, I did my chores, dressed in jeans and a shirt and hopped in a cab to Ikeja ( the job was paying). I imagined that I would go to the banquet hall, call him from outside and he would come pick his papers. Abi?
I got to Sheraton and made my way to the banquet hall. I had been there for a dinner once before, while I was on IT. Except that day I’d worn a ball gown and everything. Now here I was wearing jeans, a shirt and black ballet flats trudging towards the banquet hall and calling the guy on the phone to tell him I was there.
The party was already in full swing. It was a 70th birthday plus book launch of some dude from Shell. Outside the hall the ushers at the door gave me the eye while I ignored them and waited for my friend to pick my call. And then, there he was with a smile on his face pulling me inside the hall. Before I knew what I was sitting at a table surrounded by guys in suits and native attire, all around me were ladies dressed glamorously in gowns and such and I was wearing jeans, not even black jeans...... blue!
Suffice it to say for the first thirty minutes I was too mortified to do anything aside from be totally miserable. Later on I perked up though, enjoyed the food and flirted a bit. But that was after I psyched myself into believing that despite my disgraceful state of dress...... I was really the most beautiful girl there... Hah..hah!
Anyway fast forward to last Friday. You know when someone invites you to a party and you’re not sure you’ll go and you tell them so, and then you forget all about the party, even the date, then on the day of the party they call and say “when are you coming? We’re waiting for you” and for some reason you can’t say no and you start rushing to get dressed etc? That happened to me last Friday. I was supposed to go to this Christmas party being organised by my friend’s office, Or rather she wanted me to come. I’d already told her I wasn’t sure.
I forgot all about the date. I even woke up sick that day, after dilly dallying at home trying to decide whether to go to work or not, I finally went, under-dressed even for work... (It doesn’t matter at my workplace cause I’M AN ARCHITECT YAY!!)
Anyway, halfway into the day, while I was fooling around in the office pretending to work, my friend called me to remind me about the party.
“Oh I’m not coming” I said. ”I told you I wasn’t”
“No you didn’t” she exclaimed. “You said you were coming, why don’t you want to come?”... And so on and so forth.
So I told her I wasn’t dressed for it... and she said... “Don’t worry about it... The dress code is casual”.
It was not.
Thankfully it was an outdoor party.. and night came quickly.
Thank God for red wine, fruit smoothies and flirty guys... I kinda had fun....;)
Friday, December 3, 2010
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
- Help other people succeed: Success breeds success, the more of it you give, the more of it you get. Be sincerely interested in other people ideas and opinions, listen to problems and take your time to think about solutions to proffer. 100% of successful businesses result from one person providing a solution to a problem. Teach someone things you have learned. You would be surprised by how much you learn and how much more ideas and successes will come to you.
- Don’t let your ideas stagnate: When you get an idea do not think too much about it. Do not overanalyze until it starts to seem like a bad idea. Act on it! Immediately! That’s what successful people do. They test their ideas as soon as they can. If it fails it’s easy to see what went wrong and how it can be fixed and if it works well, good for you!
- Build on your strengths: Be more of what you are; don’t try to be what you are not. Do not spend too much time trying to improve yourself. That way you stay focused on your weaknesses. Instead build on your strengths and forget whatever weaknesses you think you have. In time you will find that your strengths have either grown enough to cover those weaknesses, or you have found a way to get around them.
- Accept your Mistakes: If you refuse to accept when you have made a mistake, you will never learn from it. Don’t ever let your ego make you stubborn, uncompromising and blind to your faults.
- Go the Extra Mile: All successful people do this, they always go the extra mile, and this is the most important rule to success. Don’t ever say I’ve done as much as I can, or I’ve done my best. ‘I’ve done my best’ as some people say is only as excuse for failure. Don’t do your best. Do what is required to get it done! That may be the biggest difference between who are today and who you will be tomorrow.
Monday, November 29, 2010
I always make jokes in my head about people, so I had already started on the joke to make when I noticed that some of them were staring into space with blank eyes. The rest had those tightly closed eyes that could only mean that they were blind.
I felt so horrible, here I was with my petty issues, making petty jokes at other people's expense, laughing my head off at every opportunity, complaining about stuff, and here were these children who would never see the sun rise, or choose pink over ox-blood, or ever see anything, and they were quietly eating their food and drinking their drinks.. I felt so horrible I started to cry.
Luckily my friend had wandered off, so I just backed into a corner and cried my eyes out.
I hope they had fun, I hope it was a great day for them. but it would be really great if only they could by some miracle, just see.