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Tuesday, June 5, 2012

How Love Fades

People always say that love fades, that no matter how much in love you are with someone, it will go away, along with that full hearted feeling, that weak in the knees feeling, that feeling that no matter how close you get to them, you’ll never be close enough.

Love dies, they say, and it dies naturally.

Love dies, I agree, but does it die naturally? I think not.
Love dies bit by bit, little by little, one day it is full to overflowing and you will do anything, anything to make this person happy because they make you so happy. Then somehow it starts to feel different and different, and different, until one day you realize that you just can’t be bothered, that you can’t imagine loving this person the way you used to, that somehow even if you tried, it would never, ever feel the same.

That doesn’t happen naturally.
It happens as result of betrayal, betrayal of trust and betrayal of love.

Love is magic; it’s a full cup of beautiful, lyrical, happy magic. Magic that makes you do things and give things you could never have imagined with the knowledge that you would do more, give more and still be happy because it’s what you were made for.

But this cup of love can only be full when trust is complete. When you totally trust that this love will not hurt you intentionally, betray you or make you unhappy, then the cup of love remains magical and full.

The moment trust is betrayed, the measure of love in the cup reduces drastically, doubt sets in and then you’re unable to love as fully as before, because now you’re trying to protect yourself. The moment you start to try to shield your heart from being hurt by someone because you’ve lost the belief that they’ll never hurt you, it becomes impossible to love them as fully as before. You forgive, but trust is the hardest thing to restore one it is diminished. So the cup of love never fills up, it remains a smaller measure of what it was before.

The more trust is betrayed, the more the cup of love reduces until one day, it is totally empty and love is dead.

That’s how love fades.