Wednesday, July 25, 2012

The Optimists Creed

I think everyone should read this and take it seriously.
If everyone were to incorporate this optimist’s creed into their lives, it could really change the world.

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

How Love Fades

People always say that love fades, that no matter how much in love you are with someone, it will go away, along with that full hearted feeling, that weak in the knees feeling, that feeling that no matter how close you get to them, you’ll never be close enough.

Love dies, they say, and it dies naturally.

Love dies, I agree, but does it die naturally? I think not.
Love dies bit by bit, little by little, one day it is full to overflowing and you will do anything, anything to make this person happy because they make you so happy. Then somehow it starts to feel different and different, and different, until one day you realize that you just can’t be bothered, that you can’t imagine loving this person the way you used to, that somehow even if you tried, it would never, ever feel the same.

That doesn’t happen naturally.
It happens as result of betrayal, betrayal of trust and betrayal of love.

Love is magic; it’s a full cup of beautiful, lyrical, happy magic. Magic that makes you do things and give things you could never have imagined with the knowledge that you would do more, give more and still be happy because it’s what you were made for.

But this cup of love can only be full when trust is complete. When you totally trust that this love will not hurt you intentionally, betray you or make you unhappy, then the cup of love remains magical and full.

The moment trust is betrayed, the measure of love in the cup reduces drastically, doubt sets in and then you’re unable to love as fully as before, because now you’re trying to protect yourself. The moment you start to try to shield your heart from being hurt by someone because you’ve lost the belief that they’ll never hurt you, it becomes impossible to love them as fully as before. You forgive, but trust is the hardest thing to restore one it is diminished. So the cup of love never fills up, it remains a smaller measure of what it was before.

The more trust is betrayed, the more the cup of love reduces until one day, it is totally empty and love is dead.

That’s how love fades.

Thursday, May 17, 2012

Ronald Reagans Letter To His Son On Marriage

This letter by former US president Ronald Reagan,  to his son Michael, recently came to my attention and I couldn't help publishing it here for all to see. Please read on.

In June of 1971, just days before his 26-year-old son, Michael, got married, future-U.S. President Ronald Reagan sent him the following letter of advice. It really is quite stunning.

Michael Reagan
Manhattan Beach, California
June 1971

Dear Mike:

Enclosed is the item I mentioned (with which goes a torn up IOU). I could stop here but I won't.

You've heard all the jokes that have been rousted around by all the "unhappy marrieds" and cynics. Now, in case no one has suggested it, there is another viewpoint. You have entered into the most meaningful relationship there is in all human life. It can be whatever you decide to make it.

Some men feel their masculinity can only be proven if they play out in their own life all the locker-room stories, smugly confident that what a wife doesn't know won't hurt her. The truth is, somehow, way down inside, without her ever finding lipstick on the collar or catching a man in the flimsy excuse of where he was till three A.M., a wife does know, and with that knowing, some of the magic of this relationship disappears. There are more men griping about marriage who kicked the whole thing away themselves than there can ever be wives deserving of blame. There is an old law of physics that you can only get out of a thing as much as you put in it. The man who puts into the marriage only half of what he owns will get that out. Sure, there will be moments when you will see someone or think back to an earlier time and you will be challenged to see if you can still make the grade, but let me tell you how really great is the challenge of proving your masculinity and charm with one woman for the rest of your life. Any man can find a twerp here and there who will go along with cheating, and it doesn't take all that much manhood. It does take quite a man to remain attractive and to be loved by a woman who has heard him snore, seen him unshaven, tended him while he was sick and washed his dirty underwear. Do that and keep her still feeling a warm glow and you will know some very beautiful music. If you truly love a girl, you shouldn't ever want her to feel, when she sees you greet a secretary or a girl you both know, that humiliation of wondering if she was someone who caused you to be late coming home, nor should you want any other woman to be able to meet your wife and know she was smiling behind her eyes as she looked at her, the woman you love, remembering this was the woman you rejected even momentarily for her favors.

Mike, you know better than many what an unhappy home is and what it can do to others. Now you have a chance to make it come out the way it should. There is no greater happiness for a man than approaching a door at the end of a day knowing someone on the other side of that door is waiting for the sound of his footsteps.



P.S. You'll never get in trouble if you say "I love you" at least once a day.

It is so good, so thoughtful, it makes me want to clap whenever i read it. Yes guys, a woman always knows, no matter the lie you tell, or how you cover your tracks, she always knows when you haven't been 100% hers and it diminishes your relationship and the love she has for you. 

So whenever you experience the temptation or opportunity to 'step out', the decision you have to make is not only based on your morals and values but on whether you're willing to risk the strength of your relationship, for the rest of your lives, on just a few minutes of illicit pleasure.

Friday, January 27, 2012

Musings ......2012

Its 2012 and this year I will be older!!!!. I have come to those years of my life where I no longer look forward to my birthdays with eagerness, instead I nurse a silent trepidation, am I getting too old to be the person I always wanted to be?


I guess you get that way when you haven’t achieved a lot of your dreams. For me that could be the case. I haven’t written a book, travelled abroad, gotten a Master’s degree, gotten married or even…...oh well can’t tell everything.  My life at this stage is very, very lacking in achievements.


But anyway, this year my birthday will come and I will enjoy it. I will enjoy most of the year because I have achieved the thing I always wanted the most, I have fallen in love….(smile, smile, blush, blush)


Ok. Close that chapter. This morning after mass, a lady offered me a ride to my office which was really out of her way. It’s really heartwarming to meet people who show you that there is still some kindness in this world. God bless that lady and if she ever gets to read this…. Well lady I think you’re exceptionally pretty.


On a not so heartwarming note, I was on a bike this afternoon and the idiot almost drove into the path of an oncoming car… and worse!… after it happened the guy kept claiming he was right! If I wasn’t so shaken I’d have slapped the living daylights out of him.


I just read on twitter that Babangida will not seek elective office anymore, that made me sad. I want him to contest every four years and lose each time, no punishment is enough for the man who legalized corruption in Nigeria. IBB if you don’t agree with me, tell me what good legacy you left for Nigeria.


And in the US, Obama keeps talking of fairness and taxing the rich at higher rates. Based on calculations done by… I forgot his name… Oh yes! David Indiviglio of The Atlantic. Even if the rich in America paid 100% of their income in taxes, it wouldn’t even come close to filling the budget deficit. So maybe Obama should find another line to incense the masses into voting for him, or maybe not, this line seems to work on 70% of ignorant Americans who think the rich are to blame for all their problems.


I find that I can no longer read Cosmopolitan Magazine in public, there is sex on every page! Guys in my office see the cover and give me a speculative look, like…. Hmmn……… Vogue, of course, remains the ultimate in magazines.  


PS I will finish a writing a novel this year.


I will finish a writing a novel this year.

I will finish a writing a novel this year.

I will finish a writing a novel this year.

I will finish a writing a novel this year.

I will finish a writing a novel this year.

I will finish a writing a novel this year……………………………. I wonder if the more times I write it , the more chance there is of it coming true….